At one time or another, we have thought about that old saying, "LOVE IS BLIND." It might have been at that miserably mismatched wedding you attended; Or, when your best friend forgave his or her partner the hundredth time for the SAME CRIME; Or, after your divorce, and after looking back with analytic contemplation, you finally saw the warning signals of the person you ended up marrying; Or, perhaps it occurred within the depths of your own soul when you had someone you love break your trust.
The accumulation of experiences like these lead you to wonder if you could ever... FOLLOW YOUR HEART WITHOUT LOSING YOUR MIND.
In other words, is there really any explanation for why love is blind? Do we have any hope for learning how to avoid marrying a jerk or jerkette (for this program is for BOTH males and females)? The answer is a resounding... YES!!!!
Much, if not all, of what a person will be like can be clearly predicted during dating. For years, while conducting counseling sessions with relationally confused and hurt clients, I searched through self-help books and thousands of pages of research on the premarital relationship and the predictors of marital satisfaction. I gleaned many valuable principles and insights. However, I did not find any author who organized this plethora of information into a pictorial model which would portray the delicate balance between your mind and heart.
For your mind needs to know what to look for in order to shape an accurate profile of the person you are dating. And your heart needs to know how to keep proper balances between the bonding forces which form the attachment in your growing relationship.
Two of the most common remarks I have heard when counseling dismayed spouses are:
"I should have known better..."
"I saw it when dating, but I just overlooked it..."
I am convinced that these regretful reflections reveal the two most prevalent sources to an unhealthy, "blinding love."
The first, as indicated in the first remark, is an UNDER-DEVELOPED education of the mind. Too many people simply do not know WHAT to look for when dating.
The second source of minimizing problems is an OVER-DEVELOPED attachment of the heart. In this case, too many people simply do not know HOW to keep a dating relationship in balance.
It was these two needs which led me to develop a program to follow in the premarital relationship and decision-making process. This program, referred to as How to Avoid Falling for a Jerk(ette) or the PICK Program (Premarital Interpersonal Choices & Knowledge), contains a five-hour video series with participant workbooks. This can be purchased and used by any individual. However, in addition, a complete Instructor Certification Packet is also available for those who wish to either present the videos and lead discussion groups, or actually teach the program.
Based upon a thorough review of research pertaining to this subject, the PICK Program EXHAUSTIVELY and HUMOROUSLY describes:
THE MAJOR AREAS THAT PREDICT WHAT A PERSON WILL BE LIKE IN MARRIAGE,
THE BONDING FORCES THAT MUST BE KEPT IN BALANCE AS A RELATIONSHIP GROWS.