How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk: The Book
I just want to thank you so much for writing this book! I have been in two serious relationships in my short 19 years of living, one bad, the other horrible. My horrible one ended a few months after my parents separated. I knew that I believed in love, but I didn't know how people could stay together and if those who stayed together were really happy. I knew that it was possible, but I had no real proof. Apart from that I was terrified I would fall back into old habits if I ever did get in another relationship. I was also terrified that I would be so paranoid that I would push away potential suitors. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't looking for another boyfriend and I'm still not. I know that I need to be with myself for a while. But I still wondered what my chances of finding true love were after I finish my growing up. It would make me so sad sometimes to think about my future because I knew what I wanted, but I also knew that my parents' marriage was not a healthy one and my relationships were both extremely unhealthy, so where was I supposed to even learn about having a healthy relationship? I picked up your book by accident. My roommate is the daughter of an air force chaplin and she has done the seminar with her family when her dad taught it in Korea. I was on the floor stretching before I went to work out and I looked over at her bookcase and saw your book. I thought it was a funny title and with my past relationship experience I thought "Why not read a page or two?". 8 hours later I had read it cover to cover. It has inspired me and it has given me so much hope for the future. I'm not looking for anything now because I'm only 19 and I have a whole bunch of crazy I have to deal with within myself before I try for a relationship. But my romantic future doesn't seem hopeless now. So thank you so much! I've been telling all of my friends to read it and I hope they take it to heart because I believe that we should start a new trend of using your heart and mind when it comes to love. So thank you again!
Just a quick note on your PICK a Partner training that I have received over the past few days. I had gone through the training before while I was in the chaplain basic officer course almost two years ago. At the time, I really did not see the immediate need for me to utilize this training as I was still in seminary and had a few more years before I complete school. My concentration was really on completing my school courses, not on utilizing your training resources. Consequently, even though I paid attention during the training, the effects were short lived.
During this training, I must say my experience is different. I came as a willing participant because I know now that I have a need for this training and will utilize it in the near future. As I go through the training I am already formulating how I will use it at my unit during our weekend battle assemblies; how I can share it with my church’s outreach addiction and homeless programs, and how I can zero in on my relationship with my spouse. I even find myself during this week encouraging Soldiers to attend the Singles Strong Bonds training that utilize your “How to Avoid Falling for a Jerk (jerkette),” and highlighting the benefits of RAM. I particularly like the fact that you allow the training class to practice presenting the materials as we train to become the trainer.
Many blessings to you, and I thank you again for these materials and the training on how to build and commit to relationships that will last.
Chaplain Candidate, US Army Reserve
After taking your class I am learning to break the cycle and rid myself of those tapes & thoughts that replay over & over in my head about how I don’t deserve to be treated well. I have you in my head reminding me of my worth. I replay everything you taught us back at times when I struggle and I then work through it. Heck I even revert back to the workbook once or more a week. It was the best money I ever spent on me!!!! If I hadn’t taken your class I would have continued on in the only vicious cycle I had come accustomed to for so many years.
I have to tell you as soon as I left yesterday I called my good friend and we discussed what I learned as well as how we function with the RAM model. Kind of an eye opener when you categorize the process like that!
After many dating situations with some real jerks I decided it was time to take action with my teenage daughter. Taking the How Not to Date a Jerk/Jerkette workshop turned out to be one of the best things she ever did. The workshop helped her to figure out who she is, what she values, and what to look for in a potential dating partner. It empowered her to make healthy decisions and helped her to identify the good guys. I would strongly recommend this workshop for any young person as an extremely beneficial tool to add to their toolbox of relationship skills.